We've all heard the stereotypical theory that if you have sex with a guy on the first night he won't respect you.
Well, in my opinion, that's so false!
Now, I'm not saying go out there p***y popping for every guy you meet.
What I'm saying is, when you find the right guy, he'll respect you for you. As women, we spend a lot of time worrying about what men think instead of investing in our confidence and self esteem.
Most of us want a man to sweep us off our feet, and we think in order for that to happen we have to do A, B and C in that order without any deviation. However, there is no formula for the fairytale.
I've come to the realization that men do whatever the heck they want. I've dated guys that I withheld sex from, and guys that I gave it up to and they STILL cheated. There are, however, guys out there that are going to love, and treat you right even when you come over to Netflix and chill.
When I first met my husband, he let me know upfront he wasn't interested in a relationship, but he still invited me over to watch Netflix, and I went. Needless to say Nextflix and chill is code for sex. We definitely had some amazing sex, no date, no dinner, but we at least watched the show. We got through about 2 or 3 episodes of “Weeds”, and it was getting late. He made his move to kiss me, and I kissed him back. Of course, one thing led to another, and 30 minutes later, we were orgasming at the same time. I don't know about y'all, but that did it for me, I was in love! I never told him anything about what I like during sex, yet the man could make me orgasm at the same time as him?
When I went home I thought for sure my chances with him were over though. There was no way he could respect me after that right? Wrong! He couldn't get enough of me, and it had nothing to do with the sex. It was my confidence, and self love that he was drawn to. Although I gave it up real quick, he couldn't help but fall in love with me. We continued spending time together day and night; we were together constantly. A few months later we got married, and we've been happily married ever since. He is the most amazing husband, and his love, respect, and kindness towards me blows me away.
When I think about the pieces of trash I dated before my husband, I realized that my failed relationships weren't because I didn't follow the right steps. They failed because those men didn't really love me, and they just weren't ready. When I put in the work on myself, I found a man that met my wants and needs. And even though we didn't start out the way the world tells us to, love still happened for us, and it can happen for you. There are a lot of losers out there that you have to sort through to get to your king. Just be up for the challenge, and I promise you the right one will come along, and it won't have anything to do how many months you stay celibate!
- Ms Terri Lane